Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been really busy. I have tons of schoolwork I have to do. Also, I have to practice golf (one of my many interests). I really have been meaning to post something sooner than now.

I have many drafts on here of blogs that I have started and not posted because I thought they were pointless or because I was stuck and had nothing else to say and it was just plain old confusing. But, today I am going to finish a blog.

Have you ever had a certain word stuck in your head? This week, the word that is stuck in my hand just so happens to be "escape". When I say escape, I mean a way to get away from reality. If that makes any sense...
But anyways, for me, when reality is too stressful for me and when I get absolutely fed up with what's going on in my life, I listen to music. as loud as it will go. In my opinion, the louder the music is, the better. It's my escape from life. Sometimes, I write. Like right now, as I write this, I am listening to RelientK (the best band ever, in my opinion) as loud as my iPod will allow it to go, and writing this. I'm escaping reality because I am too stressed with all the things going on in my life.

As I write this, I listen to the song "Be My Escape" by RelientK. I feel it kind of relates to what I'm about to say.

Sometimes, I block God out too. When I don't want to hear what God is telling me, when I don't want to see what He is throwing in my face, I block him out with music. I put headphones in and basically say "I don't care what You have to say to me or what You have to show me, I want to live my life my own way." This is wrong and I understand that.  But, I'm changing that.


I have listened to this song a million times in my life and it just now has a meaning to me. In other words, I've just now actually listened to the lyrics and I've just now realized what they're saying. 
So now, I post the lyrics and I hope you take the time to read them and comprehend them. Because they changed the way I am and they might do the same for you. 


I've given up on giving up slowly
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
And this one last bullet you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
'Cause I know to live you must give your life away
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way of knowing where to go
I promise I'm going because
I got to get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I got to get out of here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape
I've given up on doing this alone now
'Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
You’ve told me the way, and now I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit, that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way of knowing where to go
I promise I'm going because
I got to get out of here
’Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake
I got to get out of here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way of knowing where to go
I promise I'm going because
I got to get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I got to get out of here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape
I fought you for so long
I should have let you win
Oh, how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
Oh, but so were you
So were you 


So today, I ask those of you that actually read this: What is your Escape from reality? 


Well, sorry if this was boring and long, but it was something I felt I needed to write about.

Love, Bee.

P.S: If you have never ever ever heard RelientK, go listen to them now. (: