Hello fellow readers of my blog. It's Bee and I'm back. I know I left and I was gone for a long time and I asked my friend to continue the blog, but he was so caught up that he couldn't. That's understandable. If I really had the heart for you guys, I would have been here everyday writing encouraging things but instead I was a coward and ran from my problems. I moved away from Tennessee, but I am back now in hopes at starting over. I've decided to start blogging again because my life is back on track thanks to a certain few people (Mr. Evans, Kayla, and Georgia -- thank you so much for the encouragement and whatnot. I appreciate it.) I feel terrible for writing so much and then leaving and not posting for the longest time.
To explain myself: I don't exactly know why I left. I know I was depressed and suicidal and causing self-harm. I was so fed up with wanting to change the world when really, I couldn't change the world until I changed myself. I turned to all the wrong things. I hoped that cutting myself with a razor would help. I hoped that starving myself until I couldn't stand it anymore would help. I was wrong. These things just made it worse. I turned to multiple things and hated myself even more when none of them seemed to solve my problems.
One day, I was talking to my friend Brett on the phone. We got really deep into a conversation and I came out about self harm and everything that was wrong with me. He said that I was beautiful and didn't need to harm myself or starve myself or anything I had been doing. I cried when he said I needed serious help. The next day, I moved back to Tennessee and immediately went to visit Mr. Evans, the counselor at my high school.
I'm so happy to say that everything is back to "normal" now. I don't do anything I used to and I talk to people about my feelings now. It turns out, the things I was trying to stop were the exact things I was doing to myself to resist reality.
I'm about to post a blog about the media. I have to write it and jazz it up. I didn't want to post something without telling my story. I didn't want those of you that actually read this to be like "Woah, where'd she come from?" I didn't want to just appear and not tell you how my life was changed.
It's the simple things that can save a life. It's the simple compliments that you go out of your way to tell someone. It's the encouragement you give. It's the love you show. These things can help someone know they are worth something. It's these things that helped me come back to reality. It's these exact things that made me realize that my life was worth living and that I didn't need to harm my body.
Love Bee. (:
No comments:
Post a Comment